Tone Surge

Just How You Like It . . .

The band onstage was really hot. Elements of rock, hard rock, blues, soul, jazz, funk, punk, R & B, pop, hip-hop, doo-wop, electronic, roots, americana, country, classical, metal, folk, world beat, latin, and whatever else you could think of were all artfully blended to create a fresh, new sound.

My buddy and I had stopped in to catch a piece of their set before we had to run back and finish our own gig a few doors down the street. We heard about this band and mostly their guitar player.

What a tone! What a sound! Of course we wanted to know how he got that tone, or I should say my buddy Rod wanted to know, he was the guitar player, I just played bass. So we’re doing the hang and listening very closely, scrutinizing all their gear, when this guy comes over, looks us up and down, figures us for a couple of band guys, and says “You lookin’?” But it wasn’t drugs, we knew this guy didn’t act the part, so Rod says “Maybe, what cha got?”

“You want to know how he does it, don’t you? You want to know how you can do it too, don’t you?” he says. “You want to have that tone, don’t you?” “As in you want to be able to command your guitar tone to dive, soar, bend, blend, swoop, bite, whisper, sustain, scream, pierce, attract, enrapture, mesmerize, entice, seduce, enthrall, reach, touch, grab, cajole, control, and generally convey your every emotion into one note, instantly, whenever you want, don’t you?”

OF COURSE WE DO.

Well, the quest for Great Electric Guitar Tone takes a lot, that’s for sure. Let’s start with your custom built, hand made electric guitar. Strat vs. Les Paul vs. Tele vs. Jazz Box vs. what-have-you, you name it. You must have tone wood for the body, neck and fingerboard, certainly. With woods like hard rock maple, ebony, rosewood, East Indian rosewood, mahogany, spruce (Sitka or Adirondack), cedar, walnut, koa, sapele, all the new environmentally-friendly-socially-consciously-correct wood species, roasted wood, hundred year old reclaimed wood from western railroad tunnels, the choices are endless, or just about endless.

But with the right combination, put together the right way, you just might have a basic instrument that sounds incredible when you tap it. You know it sings, even before any pickups or electronics are added.

YOU CAN HEAR IT NOW, CAN’T YOU? THAT SWEET PROMISE OF GREAT TONE.

You simply must have incredible pickups too, although it’s not that simple. It’s going to involve decisions. Do you want vintage style, either parted out from an old 1950’s guitar (frowned upon) or hand-wound new on the latest fashionable trend of magnets? You will have to choose from Alnico in various grades: II, III, IV, V, or VIII, (don’t ask me what happened to I, VI and VII, I don’t care) or Ceramic or Neodymium? Do you want active or passive? You want single-coil or humbucker? Or coil-tapped with a switch? You probably want both in the same guitar for that ultimate flexibility. Maybe you better shoehorn a P-90 in there too, just to be certain.

As far as strings go, it’s best to constantly try every new offering, all the time.

Hex core, round core, round wound, flat wound, wound G, solid G, nickel, chrome, stainless, cryogenic, all of it, just keep switching, including gauges. You’re gonna change ‘em before (or after) every gig or every other gig or after one hour of rehearsal and then a gig, or some other superstitious amount of break-in time anyway, if you’re serious about tone.

When you get to the right combination, buy a shitload because they’re gonna be discontinued next month, I heard. Get them home and unwind them out of the package right away and store them properly. Better hang some of them ball end up and some ball end down, because you never really know.

Let’s move on to a short discussion about the proper amplifier. You need the right amplifier if you want the right tone. Fender, in Tweed, Brown Vinyl, Blonde Vinyl, White Knobs, Red Knobs, Brownface, Blackface, Silverface vs. Vintage Ampeg vs. Old Gibson vs. Vox vs. Marshall, what are YOU willing to swear is the best you’ve ever heard? We dasn’t ignore handmade boutique amps either, with point-to-point wiring and NOS tubes (carefully matched and biased), a recently unearthed stash of old orange drop caps (measured and certified pristine), pots made exactly like the holy grail old date code style. And what about the legendary Dumble amps? Better have your financial portfolio in order, personal celebrity references available. And you better feel lucky today, Punk, if you ever expect to get your hands on one of those mythical beasts! And you do want your hands on one, because TONE, MAN, TONE!

Ok, for the sake of argument (the argument queue starts to the left of the service bar, wait your turn, don’t crowd the waitress), let’s say you go with a vintage Fender Blackface 5 Watt. Now how are you going to choose a mod?

Because, again, if you’re serious, you’ve got to have it modded. That’s modification of the circuit(s), of course. For safety, lose the death cap and install a modern three-prong, grounded AC wire, so get that done. But for great tone you have to choose a particular mod to the tone circuit in order to be taken seriously. There’s dozens available on the internet from dozens of influencers and other truly knowledgeable types. Let’s say you chose a mod that you consider respectable yet enviable. And you have addressed the issue of the Best Speaker (I could go on, but I won’t).

You have ALL OF THIS and yet, somehow, you’re still jonesing for MORE TONE! You just GOTTA HAVE IT!

The guy in the bar says to us “I got a guy who knows a guy that can put you in talks with The Tone Team.” THE TONE TEAM. Rod and I had heard vague references to The Tone Team, it’s rumored to be a group of AI Tech Wizards, Hi-Fi Sound Gurus and Out of Work Medical Professionals. All very hush hush, strictly underground. (The First Rule of Tone Team is Don’t Talk About Tone Team.)

FINALLY, YOU CAN HAVE IT.

After completing a narrow psychological interview and light background check with full financial disclosure, The Tone Team will construct for you a complete program from their proprietary templates, tailored to their interpretation of your individual style. For a fee (steep, I’m sure) plus monthly subscription dues which include annoying software updates, you are able to lease for the rest of your born days, a robotic laparoscopic surgically implanted AI Black Box with inset micro wiring that connects your fingers and your ears with your frontal lobe motor cortex, the cerebellum and the basal ganglia directly with sensors in your heart and around your very soul!

Wow! No more thinking! The AI box makes all the decisions concerning emotion and directs the appropriate response to your fingers (in real time, no less!) You no longer have to go down to The Crossroads at midnight and spin a deal with the Prince of Lies. (No one has ever successfully found The Crossroads on any map, anyhow.)

Yes, with all your carefully curated gear and the Tone Team AI Black Box, you no longer have to think to play lead guitar! It’s going to be all in your fingers. Way beyond “muscle memory.”

So the next time you’re approached by another musician who says “Dude, we were over there setting up for our show and we heard your last set. My drummer wanted me to ask you how you got your tone,” you can now hold up your fingertips, press them tightly together and say with total confidence “Tell your drummer I got your tone right here, Babe!”

Which is what you would have said anyway.